What To Do When You Feel Stuck, and Change Isn’t Happening

Summary

Some problems are clearly fixable. If you don’t like something in your life, you can usually change it. Others are beyond your power to change and call for surrender. But the hardest are the ones in between: you’ve done everything you can, and still nothing moves. This short piece is about what to do then.

If You Don’t Like Something, Change It

For the most part, I’ve lived by the maxim that says if you don’t like something in your life, change it. Don’t complain about it. Don’t blame someone else for it, and don’t merely tolerate it. Instead, get busy and do all you can to change it. It’s a strategy that’s paid off for me time and again, and I highly recommend it for most of life’s troubles.

Some Things Are Beyond Our Ability to Change

Still, there are situations that are beyond our ability to change. No matter how hard we try, we’ll never make them different than what they are. The loss of a loved one, for example, or the ending of a relationship that’s run its course.

These are the times when we must surrender to what is. These are the times when the greatest act of compassion is to give yourself time to mourn. Care for yourself and know the sun will rise tomorrow, life will go on, and time will heal your pain.

When You Try and Nothing Changes

There are also situations that fall somewhere in the middle. It’s clear that you have the ability to create change, and you put forth the effort to bring it about. Yet, as hard as you try, nothing seems to be happening. Perhaps you try harder. Maybe you take a different approach. Still, you seem to be stuck.

I find these times the most challenging. Your heart is telling you to persevere while the Universe seems to be telling you to surrender.

Over the last few years, I’ve come to understand that times like these call for wisdom, trust, and patience:

• Wisdom to understand the Universe has its own timetable.
• Trust that things are happening for your greater good; things you can neither see nor understand.
• Patience to allow everything to unfold just as it should.

Loosen Your Grip

In other words, if you’ve done all you can do, and nothing seems to be changing, maybe it’s time to let it go for a bit. Loosen your grip.

• Go to the beach.
• Take a walk in the woods.
• Laugh with friends and family.
• Breeeeeath.

Enjoy life, and allow things to happen in their own time. It’s much more enjoyable than the alternative.

Lets Keep in Touch

If you enjoyed this article, and would like to read more from me, hop on my email list, and I’ll be in touch when I have something I think will be helpful to you.

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By Michael D. Pollock

Michael D. Pollock is a behavior change coach and writer who helps people break stubborn patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create lives that reflect who they truly are. His work explores the intersection of habits, identity, psychology, neuroscience and deep personal change.